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No. It's just, I don't know. I'm kind of sick of playing with action figures. It's gotten boring.
All good Mortys must praise the One True Morty by playing with their action figures and all relevant accessories. “Remember when there was only one set of footprints? That’s when the One True Morty was carrying you in his Super Action Blaster Jet"'.” - Psalmortys 4:19 T-t-that's a smart move, Morty. Y'know, I have a line on a bunch of likeminded collectors like yourself. 7 Well I prefer to worship the One True Morty In my own way. Besides, they lose all their value when they're out of the box. From now on I'm keeping everything in the packaging. All you have to do is enter that portal. They have every toy with every paint variant and factory defect you could ever want. Wow, really?!?
No Morty don't do it! Nothing good can come of entering that portal! It's no use. The choice, the consequences, are his alone. “The tempting portal glows green and angry, like so many Hulk anuses.” - Mortylations 2:13 A Morty that doesn't play with toys is pretty valuable in the collector's market, so I figure why not get cash in and get a few extra flurbos? Oh right, about that...
I knew going through that portal was a bad idea! Perhaps the OneTrue Morty will take mercy on me, and send a savior to free me from this plastic prison. A good Morty must find joy in the little things, like a super-poseable robot arm, light-up demon eyes, and a plastic missile lodged in a friend's throat. But no one ever came. This Morty learned that those who forsake the One True Morty for pristine packaging are doomed to a life imprisoned by plastic and cardboard.
Wow, what a great idea to do a report on crystals for science class! "Only tin; wiil of the Earth can reject the soiling of the Rick." ■ .Mortvnet ice 6:14 Hey, y-y-you guys really want to ace your science project? I know a place with some amazing crystals. You'll get an A for sure.
“Let the One True Morty place his scratch-n-sniff sticker upon your soul.” - Old Mortestament May the One True Morty have mercy. 1 s If Later... They do something very VERY important Morty...
They get you riggity-riggity-wrecked, bro! It's your turn now, Morty. Be like a good scientist, and snort up. Morty may think he discovered something amazing, but his experiment will soon lead to some unexpected results. Okay, I guess so. For science. Back on Earth, the righteous Morty reaps his rewards. Wooooo! Yeah, I'm totally feeling it! My nipples have never been this hard before! Science rules! “The nipples speak their lies in unison.” - Cathecism of Morty 3:22 Blessed are the mediocre, for theirs is the kingdom of Morty.” - Mortylations 7:12
The Morty that was tempted by Rick and his recreational drugs is now doomed to spend his days crammed into the beast's filthy orifices. Use this cautionary tale as a reminder of the slippery, tuna-smelling slope that comes when a Morty walks with Rick. If only I had followed the ways of the One True Morty, I wouldn't be in this awful place.
znn 5 T ms. Three scoops please! VA Maybe you should get a part-time job! I mow lawns on the side. Yeah and I sell fake weed to the seniors! “Seriously, f**k Brad.” - Mortynetics 7:18 What's the matter Morty? u Yeah, didn't you want some ice cream? Of course I want ice cream! But I have no money, I'm broke!!! Y'know, M-m-morty, if you're looking to make a quick buck I could help. I'm looking for some space to rent and can pay cash. And I'll even throw in some ice cream.
It is the Rick's way to tempt Mortys with promises of ice cream, cash, or passwords to high-def porn sites... I wouldn't do this, Morty. Think about the consequences. Of what? Sleeping on the couch while Rick uses my room? This sounds too good to pass up! I WANTTO RENT OUTYOUR BUTTHOLE! FOR MY SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS! But remember, precious Morty, there's always a catch. Actually Morty, I don't want to rent out your room.
The One True Morty teaches us that our buttholes are to be cherished, and are only for... “The anus is the window to the soul.” - Psalmortys 9:13 Here we see two good Mortys spending their hard-earned wages wisely. I hope the other Morty made the right decision. 7^
But the One True Morty only forgives those with pure hearts, and pure buttholes.
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